I feel like a jerk...

I picked up Ally from the vet today. We spayed and declawed her. I will never declaw a cat again. I don't care what the kitties do to me - scratch me, ruin my furniture, my bedspread, my curtains, my lamp...They don't deserve it. Obviously, it's not beneficial to them at all. It's not as bad as doing it for aesthetic reasons like clipping their ears or boxing their tales (or whatever the terminology for those procedures are). Ilaiy don't read this part -



Her paws aren't attractive. When I look at her little white-turned-pink scabby paws - my stomach sinks and I want to cry. And when I look at her three or four inch incision from her spaying - I just want to hold her and curl up with her and cry. And you know what she did? She rubbed my face and purred and purred and she loves me. She seems to have no idea that this was MY doing.

Ilaiy - you can read again - I blogged about this about a week ago asking for opinions. I received one from "anonymous" and, I concur with everything she or he (I have a feeling it was a she for some reason) said. I knew all of the facts that she listed before I did this. In the past, I even looked for those plastic nail covers and never found them. And I thank anonymous for her comment. She did what I asked - she gave me her opinion. My husband responded to anonymous with his classic, scathing, and sometimes amusing wit. He's right - Ally's better off than if we'd left her as a stray and she loves us. And she's happy. Even though right now she's in pain.

I don't know how to wrap this up or resolve these feelings. I sang really loudly to a song I heard on the radio while on my way back to work after dropping Ally off at home. That let me have a little pity party for myself (and Ally) and be melancholy for a while - also let release some frustration. In a short while - she'll be feeling like herself again (hopefully). And I'm sure I will too. My mother always said I had a flair for the dramatic and maybe I'm just being dramatic here. But, I hope I don't forget this. I will do it differently next time.